Hi! I’m Myles, this is my website. I grew up in Kapoho, Hawaii in a neighborhood that no longer exists because of a volcanic eruption. Now I live in New York City, which has a much lower chance of volcano-related incidents. Big fan of that.

I’ve wanted to do exactly one thing since I was fourteen years old: “Comedy!” Whatever that meant. I was dumb, like all fourteen-year-olds. Eventually I moved to New York, started doing standup, got pretty decent at it but was confused because I didn’t enjoy it that much. Then I found out that some people get to write comedy without having to do standup and I said to myself “Oh, that’s way better. I want to do that.” And now I do! What a rollercoaster ride.

It turns out, if you just write and write and write you evenutally get pretty good at it! I’ve written for UCB’s Maude Night, I’ve gotten 8s on The Blacklist, I’m in the top 1% on Coverfly, I’ve directed for Boogiemanja at the PIT, I even once wrote an essay that was an Editor’s Pick on Medium. I assume at least one of these things is impressive to you.

Feel free to click around and check out the various things I’ve done (the things I’m willing to put on a website, anyway). Hopefully, you’re already doing that. Because if not, why are you here? What are you doing on my website, you weirdo? Just googling “Myles Hewette” for some reason? Stop that! Do something more productive with your time. Read a book or plant a tree or hire someone to write comedy for you. Actually, if you’re doing that last thing, I recommend you hire me! You can do that by clicking on “contact me” down in the footer of this website. Hey, look at that! You got what you came here for after all.